ellie87

Yeah, I’m not going to have too much time to post in the next few days because of final papers that I have due, but I’m looking forward to when I can write longer blogs, read other peoples’ blogs, cook, and workout all the time again when school is over. I’ve been doing a good job at going to the gym since I started buddyslim- I’ve gone at least every other other day. And in the last few days, I’ve also been successful at not eating past 8 pm. Anyway, longer posts to follow soon.

Well, I did a good job at eating well yesterday: I didn’t eat any dessert, even though I realllllly wanted some ice cream, and I didn’t eat after 8.

But my love life didn’t go quite as planned yesterday. It was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend and we got in a fight because I had sort of expected him to do something like romantic and surprising, and he didn’t. He’s really an incredible guy, but he is just not that good at making big romantic gestures :/ anyway, so I ended being sort of angry at him, but it really wasn’t fair, because I didn’t get him anything and I didn’t tell him that I wanted him to do something. But yeah, after fighting and being awkward for most of the night, at about 11 we talked about it and stopped being angry and it was fine. I guess I’m just sort of mad at myself that I got mad at him and that our two year anniversary ended up being so lame- and by being so lame I don’t mean that’s because we didn’t do anything, it would have been fine if we had just ended up cooking dinner and walking around or something. I just mean it was lame because we were fighting.

Well, on the bright side, we did talk it out and I felt a lot better afterwards and it was really fun after we stopped fighting- we played some gin rummy and then just goofed around and laughed with each other. It ended up being a pretty good night, even though we didn’t really celebrate in any formal way. I might see if he wants to go out this weekend and celebrate on the town and do a sort of redo- we could call it cinco de mayo dos! (our anniversary is cinco de mayo)

I weight in on Saturday- I’m so excited, I hope I lost a pound or two!

I had a pretty good day. I just sort of realized that my “good days” related to eating and my “good days” just in general tend to correspond with each other, because chances are if I had an okay day but I ate crappy food all day, then I don’t feel very good about myself. Likeweise, if I’ve had a bad day generally, then I’m pretty likely to eat crappy food.

But today was a day that was good on both fronts- I hung out with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, and while I didn’t eat super healthy today (I did have two poptarts and a cookie!) I did a good job at just eating when I was hungry. I even only ate one half of my sandwich at dinner and got the other half take out. While this might not seem like this is really such a big accomplishment, its actually a pretty big change of pace for me. And I’ve been doing a really good job at working out and walking instead of taking the bus. Its been a pretty good day.

I am going to have sort of a new goal for a while- I’m going to try really hard not to eat dessert all week. I feel like in the mornings I tend to eat pretty healthy food, but then at night I tend to binge eat. This typically happens one of two ways:

1. I am home after school and bored and don’t have anyone to hang out with, so then I get sad and eat.

2. I’m hanging out with people and I’m a little anxious, nothing weird, just a little social anxiety- its normal. But it makes me want to eat, and so if I know the person well I end up finding chips or cheese-its (cheese-its are my all-time weakness, I’m sure I will write many a blog if I keep this up, damning cheese-its for their addictiveness) and just eating and eating. Until they are gone. And I am embarrassed and have to offer to buy them another bag or box of whatever I just inhaled.

So another goal I am thinking about is not eating after 8 pm. I was doing a really good job tonight- even though I was hanging out with my friend, I tried to make myself relax and let go of that little bit of anxiety that otherwise would make me want to eat. However, we ate dinner really early- like 5pm- I want really hungry like 30 minutes ago, so I ate a small healthy snack- so not a bad deal at all.

So change of subject- I’ve been reading other peoples blogs, and then I’ll click “Next blog” at the top of the page and just randomly go through users’ blogs… and its kind of depressing because it seems like the vast majority of people only manage to keep up with their weight for five or six days before falling off the wagon. Occasionally, they’ll get back on like 6 months later and be like, I can’t believe I quit, this time I’m really going to stick with it. But its hard and so they don’t. But I think its got to help to make friends and have people support you. So I’m also going to try to read at least one new person a day’s blog and make a comment if they sound cool and let them kn0w I’m here and to stick with it. And I also just wanted to say thanks to the people who are really active and nice to new people, because I think it really does make people feel like someone has their back.

Well, I did a pretty decent job yesterday! It was a pretty busy day, which was good because I tend to eat less when I’m doing stuff (v. when I’m home, alone, bored)

So I ate pretty well all day. Also, I ate a salad (first one in a long time) and it was good! Mmmm the Wendy’s mandarin chicken salad is so tasty. I was doing really well until I got back to my apartment and then I ate some ice cream and some yellow cupcakes my roommate made, but I really ate such small portions it wasn’t a big deal- cool! Anyway, I’l going to go to the gym later.

Thinking about it, I really love the gym. I like exercising okay, and its good people watching, but I really like the way I can tell the changes in my body after I go. Like if I do a lot of sit-ups, I can really tell the next day that my stomach looks a lot flatter.

Man, I wish I could figure out how to make my butt get bigger tho. I have kind of an average build, with sort of big boobs. But those are canceled out by my total lack of anything resembling a butt. I guess I need to start doing squats or lunges to see some changes. Hahaha or I could do this amazing exercise videos that you can find online for free, but they are made by this woman in her house whose cats keep wandering in front of the camera. But they really are good to do at home, here’s the link: http://www.women-workout-routines.com/free-workout-routines.html

I really should do these more often because they are an amazing workout. Anyway, I have a lot of school work to do and a meeting I have to go to this evening, so I’m going to go ahead and get started on some homework. Later!

Hello, buddyslim members!

This is my first post… I wonder what I should say. Okay, well I’m excited about starting to use buddyslim. And I hope I meet some nice, funny, cool people who are also using this website.

So I know that I want to eat healthier, but sometimes it seems like its so much easier to eat shitty food. I’m a college student, and although I don’t live in the dorms anymore, it can be so challenging to eat a healthy meal on campus. Maybe this is an issue with others- like if during the day you don’t have access to a refrigerator, and so you just have to either bring your lunch (which I sometimes do, but rarely) or you are stuck resorting to whatever is around- so either restaurants or picking something up from a convenience store. Now while some restaurants definitely have some tasty healthy options, most of the ones around where I am do not. The salads are crappy, any sort of grilled veggie side is gross, and the only other fruits or veggies are piled on top of pizza or a hamburger. Aghhh! And then convenience stores only have stuff like hot dogs and chips and lunchables (which I do love, but they are pretty high in fat for how little they fill me up). Occasionally they might offer some bananas or something at the front, but the fruit offerings tend to be either way to ripe or not nearly ripe enough.

And so what am I supposed to do?? I think part of the problem with the restaurants is  that I have this weird mindset (you may be able to identify) where I sort of want to get my money’s worth but I have an inaccurate idea of what that means. So if there is a $4 salad and a $6 hamburger, I’ll think that the salad won’t fill me up and that I’ll need to order something else. But the thing is, I can only recall maybe two or three instances when ordering at a restaurant that a salad hasn’t filled me up. But it doesn’t fill me up so that I feel heavy afterwards, and I think that when I’m thinking about whether I want to eat more, it’s not just about whether I feel full, it’s also about how heavy the food I ate was and frequently if it wasn’t very heavy, even if I’m pretty full I want to eat more.

Okay, so I think my goal for this week is going to relate to what I was just talking about. Not only do I want to eat more salads, I want to practice not eating more when I’m full from foods that aren’t heavy.

Hmmm, I don’t know if I should talk about my personal life and stuff like what I’m doing today, like I don’t know if people do that or if they just stick to food stuff. Um, well, yeah, I think I’ll just read some more blogs and see what people are up to and what to say- I’ve never had a blog before, so if you have any tips about what to talk about, I’d love to hear them.

Okay, I’m out- I hope everyone reading this has a great day!